Letters to my Mum #31

Dear Mum,

Happy new week! You know what… I think weekends should go up to Wednesday. Then the week can begin on Thursday and end on Friday. Why do we need a whole five days?! Talking of weekend, mine was all the fun I needed. I just love the idea of having a whole 24 hours to myself, then I decide!

So it’s a Saturday. Your girl decides to spend half of her day in church with CITAM Women Ministry. She’s curious about what they know that she needs to know. She wants to make a virtuous wife, an amazing mom, she wants to be the best and you know that… So she shines in blue jeans, white rubbers and…? Strolls to the stage, a stroll that perhaps made her foretell the goodness of the day ahead.

Men! They spice our lives, don’t they? The first one calls me “Malkia”. He does that everyday, yet I don’t even know his name, but I smile, say good morning and move on. “Hi sister…”, that’s the second one. I look back, smile and wave. I mean, he is kind enough to greet me, is there anything wrong with returning the favor? “Hey…sasa Sweetie?” the third one! Goodness gracious! I had to look at myself, did something extra grow on me? I was perfectly okay…the usual me…just a little bit younger due to my clad. So I didn’t reply the third, my mind suddenly got engrossed with myself.

To survive in Nairobi, one thing you have to learn is negotiation skills. So, I talk to the conductor before I ride his boat. Cause once I’m in, we play with his rules. There are days I have paid half of what everyone else is paying. I didn’t blackmail anyone, I just negotiated. Thirty shillings…I pay, sit next to him and start admiring the scenery. By the way, that’s part of why I live where I live; the scenery is a stress-reliever. Unfortunately our bus is stopped by the traffic police, they order all of us to step out, get back our fares and look for different vehicles. Well I was feeling sporty, so I walked a few minutes and got to church in no time.

It’s Women Ministry, remember? Every girl needs to meet other girls…talk, eat, laugh, cry and just be. I know you don’t know this, so listen carefully; were it not for Jesus, I would have become a feminist. Oh yes…you heard me. Growing up, there was a point in my life when I felt as if being a woman was a disadvantage, a weakness, something to be ashamed of. I saw the mistreatment of women, their suffering, their pain, their frustrations and their problems. I wished I would go around some stone in Ukambani where superstition has it that your gender changes after seven rounds. I would have given up my life to fight for our rights.

Then I met this man… He was gentle, slow to anger and abounding in love. He had women around Him, and wherever His word was preached, women were liberated. I found my freedom and identity in Him, and the best I could do is point other women to Him, tell them that He is the answer…and that they can find all the love they needed, in His arms. His loving-kindness is better than life, and when you have Him, you have everything. You no longer look for satisfaction in your man, you are already satisfied…so you add value to him.

The preacher! I would pay to listen to her again. That woman is a well of wisdom. Her green pearls and green ring gave her chocolate complexion such a graceful feel. She spoke, admonished, encouraged and inspired simultaneously. I still remember this, “What you did not do yesterday plus what you will not do today will make you crazy tomorrow. That doesn’t mean you do everything; organize your life as a woman. Value prayer, praise and the power of the Holy Spirit, more than you value possessions, position and worldly power”. Doctor Florence… I loved her. She asked us to celebrate life very single day, terming it as a precious gift that could fade away anytime without our knowledge.

Every woman needs to hear that. So in as much as I adore women, love to listen and interact with them, I also recognize the necessity of men in completing the puzzle of life. Can you imagine a world of women alone? I think we would pluck out each other’s hair. We’re not that bad, but we need minds to still our emotions, sweet words to satisfy our craving hearts and strong arms to hold our beautiful frames.

“Women need to feel loved and men need to feel needed.” ― Rita Mae Brown, Riding Shotgun

To all the men in my world, this one is for you: “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value”, Albert Einstein.

Keep making us feel special. We know we are, but how about you tell us gain?

Enjoy the week, and make someone feel special.

Ndindafah